| Haven't been my normal self for ages. Half my time is about work, another half, about sleeping. And it used to be spending time with her. I thought love is all about spending time with the other party, being there for her, but the quality time matters more. I am always drowsy, sleepy whenever I met up with her, being nonchalent to many things, and struggling to keep my mind awake all the times. That is not going to work, i thought. I'd told her I need to go back home to rest, obviously being tired dat's why, but she sounds unhappy and blamed me for not wanting to keep her company. No explanation works. No sounding out gets through. It always end up with her being unhappy and I still did kept her company, only that the quality drops again. We'd broke up, but still meeting her parents for dinner once, sms daily, giving wake up calls, etc. I've no idea as friend or as a couple, only know its getting nowhere. She gave me no time for friends, for myself, for work, and even my own parents. Though she claimed that she didn't control my life, it will only ended up with " Since you have little time for me then don't be together. And you will have all the time you want for yourself. " from her. If not, a silent unhappiness from her buzzled around my life. Things will be better if i end everything, clear and straight, once and for all. But its so hard to do so. The feelings stay, though not so strong. I've no idea why I am holding on now, though it keeps me emotionally unstable everyday, but for sure, its no more the feelings that's doing so. |
